Confession Tuesday #4

Confession Tuesday

By: Kun Hee Yeo

This confession is dedicated to my close friends who are continuing the racial jokes against Koreans just for a “joke”. No names will be mentioned except one. Nicholas Brands Smit. The worst of all. First of all, I am not offended by your racial jokes. I know you’re only joking. But here are some points I want to make.

1. It is not the Republic of Asia. Korea and Japan are NOT the states of the “Republic of Asia”

2. Asians are NOT yellow people. We are not “Yellow Crackers”

3. Not all Asians know martial arts.

4. “Ching Chong” translates to nothing in Chinese nor Korean and Japanese

5. The following goes to ALL of you : ASIA IS NOT A COUNTRY

Really, I never get offended by these jokes. But if you go to Korea and make these jokes, you will not survive a day. The police won’t even help you. Actually, the police might beat you up as well if you make these jokes to them. Just wait 20 more years, when the core of power is moved to Asia. YOU PEOPLE will be the ones getting racist jokes. Unity through diversity. I want no racism or racist jokes. Please.

Memoir Monday #3

Never Trust Dad

I just don’t get how people like classic music. Especially those people who are over 40 years old. What sucks even more is when you have to sit down for three hours watching a classical band play the boring music. Well, my dad is one of the people who adore classical music, unfortunately.

I was in my house chillin’ out with my laptop. But then my dad came in my room and said,

“Hey Kun Hee, let’s go and watch this cool concert! I have the tickets here!” He said. I was a true idiot, because I thought the concert would be fun. I had fallen into my dad’s trap. The nightmare had already begun when I got into his car. My dad smiled and took me to a theater. My suspicions begun.

“Why are we in a fancy theater?” I asked. He just smiled.

“This is a VIP concert, my son. Just wait and see. It’s going to be a fun show.” He said with a smile on his face. So I sat down for the next ten minutes. People with suites started coming in the theater. When I saw the people coming up the stage with flutes, clarinets, violins etc., I realized that this was a classic music concert. But I was too late. I figured it out too lately. It was total hell for the next three hours. Sitting on the seat with the loud classical music attacking my ears… It was unbearable. The music was so loud that I couldn’t even sleep. I wanted to scream at my dad for tricking me, but I couldn’t. I would only embarrass myself. I never regretted that day. So, to all of you reading this memoir, I give you a warning. NEVER TRUST YOUR DAD!

Coming-of-age poem!

I Have Changed

By Kun Hee Yeo

Grim reapers waiting for

Me after school.

I was a slave

at my own house.

Homework and parents. The perfect

recipe for a

Never-ending nightmare

The fat devil that

I was sent to

Once every month

Titling himself

“The Principal”

Only to hear

The boring lectures

Over and over

The teachers pretending

Picking, poking and prying

About why

I am

The way I am

The ugly, unattractive

C’s and D’s

Getting, Grabbing, and gaining

On me

Like I was

Their boyfriend

But now, realizing that my

Parents won’t be

Assisting me

In the future,

I took action

Transformed the

Grim reapers

Into my friends

Transformed the

C’s and D’s

Into much more attractive

A’s and B’s

Never getting to see

The fat devil

Ever again.

I have changed.

Worldy Wise Wednesday #2

K. Yeo

916 Blue Lane

Houston, TX

September 8, 2030

Dear anonymous

This letter is a very imperative and pivotal letter. You must support me. I have been stranded on an island where I do not know. There is nobody in this island and I had to survive two months in the wild. My private plane KY104 has crash landed on this island. My disposition has been modified after spending two months without talking to nobody. I feel like the loneliest man on earth.

If you are reading my letter, please support me by contacting the address written down above. My house is an ancient house that survived five generations of my family. In the library section of my house, there is an anthology of books by Leandro Johnson. These books will help you know where I am. My son Kun Hee Yeo Jr. will assist you if any help is needed. If I get rescued by your help, I will reward you with 500 thousand dollars. Please, extricate me from this situation right now.

Sincerely,

Kun Hee Yeo Sr.

Confession Tuesday #3

1. I REALLY can’t think of any confessions right now. All of my confessions were mentioned on the previous confession Tuesday.

2. My pencil case is not called Snugglepuss. Also, it’s not a dog or a cat. It’s a leopard

3. Balboa Academy is the best school I have attended out of the five other schools I have attended in the past.

4. I used to be really fat when I was young. And I mean, OBESE. Well, the past is the past. At least now I’m normal.

5. Two years ago, my friend and I found a copy of a test we didn’t take yet. We stole it from the teacher and studied the questions. Result: A+ with 98%

6. I have complains with Balboa Academy. We pay about $9000 each year and They wanted me to pay $45 again for basketball fee -_-

7. I thought that the uniforms for basketball team would be great. They gave me a 20-year-old-looking and almost-fading-name & number jersey. Plus, I ordered number 9 and they gave me 19 instead -_-

8. Every time I show my report card to my parents, all they say is, “Improve.” They never compliment me

9. This confession was really boring and I have to admit it. I ran out of confessions…

10. Next week I will come up with a better confession Tuesday. Don’t worry

Memoir Monday #2

Santa Claus, the tooth fairy and the ghosts. The three creatures I used to believe in when I was young. My belief was broken only three years ago. It all started with Santa Claus. I used to post a letter in front of the door to say what I wanted for the upcoming Christmas. I was astounded by the fact that my parents were Santa Claus. I mean, all I wanted was to greet Santa and thank him for giving me presents. It was a total surprise to see my mom come by and drop the box instead. After the broken belief about Santa Claus, I made a conclusion that the tooth fairy and the ghosts could be my parents too. So the next tooth I pulled out, I tied the tooth to a string connecting to my arm and my mom was caught right on the act when she was dropping the money. Right now I wish I never found the truth about Santa and the tooth fairy because last year I never received any presents from anyone.

The ghosts were a unique joke from my mom and dad. When I was sleeping, they used to scare me by making haunted sounds. I was so scared I begged my mom to move to another apartment.

Now, I understand why they pretended to be Santa, tooth fairy or the ghost. My parents just wanted to keep my childish mind. Well, it is wise not to find out the truth because now I don’t get presents or money from “Santa” or the “Tooth fa

Slice of Life Thursday

This morning I woke up recognizing that there are only two weeks remaining for my birthday. I’m going to turn 14 in exactly two weeks. I was getting old. That was bad. Next year I will be freshmen, the next sophomore, and the next junior and so on…

Anyways, I went to school thinking I will be taking one step towards adulthood. But I was proud. It was going to be my birthday in two weeks. In math class I wrote down on my practice math quiz, ‘When is my birthday and in how many weeks are left until my birthday?’ Since MOST of my friends from the boys knew the answer, I gave my quiz sheet to the girls.

After checking the papers, I found out that Camila checked my paper. Then she gave me back my paper. And there it was, in small ugly green letters, her answer. ‘It’s Cami. I don’t care about your chocolates or your b-day. Sorry!’ I knew she was joking. I didn’t expect her to know the answer but I was sad. At least today I got the evidence that Camila’s insides are mean. She’s was pretending to be kind the whole time.

However, if you are reading this, just remember, my birthday is in two weeks. September 16^th.

PS I was born in 1996 not 1997

PS2 Why is it "Slice of Life" Thursday

PS3 Speaking of birthdays, congratulations to Paulo. Happy Birthday man!